Monday, June 30, 2008

Pride took a hit

So a couple weeks ago, I go to the bar with some friends. Why? Cuz it was DC Pride week and we had to get our Pride on. One stop was Apex . . . a local dance club & video bar for college night. It wasn’t the hottest of all college nights. There were plenty of non-college aged people ruining it for the rest of the non-college aged people that were there to see the college aged people.

While sitting around a table in the video bar, this boy starts pulling at the stool I’m sitting on, trying to take it away from me. My friends and I all look at him like “wtf are you doing”, but he just keeps trying to pull it away like we don’t even exist. Finally I said, “hey buddy, I’m sitting here.” He responds with a huff and roughly brushes by me, and we all comment on how kids just don’t respect their elders anymore.

Fast forward 30 minutes: We’re now standing in the same general area, and the kid again brushes by me and elbows me in the back. My friends and I are like “wow, wtf is up with him.” Mind you, we don’t really see him with any friends, he seems to be on a mission looking for someone or something, walking thru the crowd, in a cute blue shirt, that unfortunately didn’t really coordinate with his not-cute face.

Fast forward another 10 minutes: As we’re walking out of the video bar in a crowded hallway, he is entering and elbows me in the back AGAIN. Despite the crowd, somehow he is able to go into the video bar and come back out again in the time it takes the four of us to move like 10 feet, where this dude and I meet a 4th time. He is trying to push by me and my friends in the crowded hallway, when I put my arm up and say “hey buddy, what’s the rush? You still pissed off about the stool or something?” He then shoves me, grabs my top-shelf drink, tosses it all over me, and then bolts as fast as he can away from us into the crowd.

Luckily, I was drinking a clear drink and wearing a white shirt, and I make enough money that I don’t feel the need to suck the wasted Belvedere out of my shirt . . . so no real damage done. But the entire crowd around us was like “wtf is wrong with that kid?!!!” A nice short girl gave me a napkin to dry off my face that, I have on good authority, did coordinate with my cute shirt.

My four friends and I immediately went into super-caveman mode to get some well deserved revenge, but the kid had wisely disappeared. We’re now glad we never found him . . . ultimately, we would have come to regret chopping his potato head into fries . . . and gay on gay violence is not exactly what Pride is all about.

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Sunday, June 01, 2008

Honestea

I am in love with Honest Tea's Organic Honey Green Tea. This month's Men's Health listed a bunch of tea beverages and their respective EGCG content in milligrams. This shit was tops. Suddenly, everywhere I go, I see it for sale. Only problem: it's got 74 calories per bottle. That's not a lot, but it's more than the zero cals I get with a Diet Pepsi. Of course Diet Pepsi has like zero EGCG, and I need as many antioxidants as I can get. Hopefully these EGCGs will combat all my age-associated ailments.

The "Sex and The City" movie was enjoyable Thursday night. I've been sworn to secrecy on the details. If you liked the show, you'll like the movie. It was kind of funny tho, seeing all the girls and womyn that got dolled-up for the midnight showing. I kept wanting to grab some of them and say "acting slutty and wearing a low-cut blouse does not make you Samantha!" Alternatively, others needed to be shaken and told that "acting uptight and barren does not make you Charlotte!" These were random, yet valid, thoughts of mine that I blame on the two cosmos I had before the show. One thought not influenced by the cosmos was that Jennifer Hudson can't act worth a damn cent, and everyone will know it now that she can't cover up her horrific skill by screaming her face off.

Have you heard how Oprah's popularity and ratings are decling and Ellen's are improving? Is anyone really surprised by this? Oprah is offensive due to her overtly self-righteous belief that she is the only bitch in the world that has it all figured out, *snap*. Ellen is offensive to some cuz she thinks gays should have equal rights, *snappitty doo da*. Which is really more annoying - the gal that tells you how to think or the gal that just says what she thinks? If you are on the ship out of Oprah town, Welcome! You're late.

I bought a cute tie over the weekend. Got it at an outlet store. Put it on this morning, and realized it was from the Vern Troyer collection. It's barely long enough. By barely, I mean it's only long enough if I slouch forward slightly while standing or walking. This tie is going to give me back problems that EGCG probably cannot fix.

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