Warm and All Wet
Remember when having clean air and clean water was enough? Apparently now everything positive we do for the environment must be tied to our impending broiling by Global Warming. It's become a religion. Some do things in the name or their god, and if the things they do are without reason we call them crazy zealots. Some do things in the name of Global Warming, and we just call them Oscar winners. Their script/scripture is simple: we are absolutely, undeniably frying ourselves.
Some of us never read that in the book of Revelation, and plenty of scientists haven't read it in their tea leaves either, but that doesn't stop some people from forgetting to keep their church and their state separate.
Case in point: the mile high city. The city government (and the resident hippies/retirees) have decided to become martyrs by raising taxes on consumers and generally denying themselves some modern "conveniences" with their Climate Action Plan to save the world from Global Warming. I applaud the effort and the good it may bring about but not the rationale. Clean up your city, Denver, clean up your water, be better stewards of your city's resources. But don't make your citizens pay a tax/tithe to Global Warming so you can achieve sainthood. It's all a bit, well, crazy zealot.
Instead, join my church, and start praying we don't get hit by an Asteroid!!! It's gonna happen people and we have no way to stop it! Don't believe me? There are 10 documentaries coming out about it next year, all hosted by people who created the internet who know a lot about Asteroids and the danger they present. All 10 documentaries reach the same conclusion: we need to start taxing people everytime they engage in activites that take their eyes away from the sky. Why? Because we need as many people as possible keeping watch for that killer Asteroid, that's why you idiot!!! Are you that stupid that you can't figure out how to drink the Kool-Aid? You can't keep your head in the sand forever!!! Everytime a star twinkles it could be because an Asteroid passed in front of the star just at that moment and you have to warn everyone about it!!! Or it could be because of astronomical scintillation (google it if you must), but it MIGHT not be!!! Furthermore, the money we raise from those taxes can then be spent on a giant super laser capable of destroying any incoming Asteroid . . . and while we wait for that Asteroid we can aim the super laser at the Moon, just to make sure it isn't seduced by those shifty Asteroids into joining their team.
At least those of us in the fight against Asteroids can still turn on a light bulb without thinking that was the one watt of energy, from the one coal burning power plant, that released the one carbon emission that sent us all to our doom. Cuz you know CNN would track that shit down like it was a hanging chad and you would have one really bad day for being "that guy". On the other hand, perhaps I do like the self-righteousness that comes with thinking that turning off my lights saved everyone on the planet . . .
Go for it Global Warming zealots. Turn off your light bulbs. What? You already have? Well maybe that explains a lot more than I thought.
Some of us never read that in the book of Revelation, and plenty of scientists haven't read it in their tea leaves either, but that doesn't stop some people from forgetting to keep their church and their state separate.
Case in point: the mile high city. The city government (and the resident hippies/retirees) have decided to become martyrs by raising taxes on consumers and generally denying themselves some modern "conveniences" with their Climate Action Plan to save the world from Global Warming. I applaud the effort and the good it may bring about but not the rationale. Clean up your city, Denver, clean up your water, be better stewards of your city's resources. But don't make your citizens pay a tax/tithe to Global Warming so you can achieve sainthood. It's all a bit, well, crazy zealot.
Instead, join my church, and start praying we don't get hit by an Asteroid!!! It's gonna happen people and we have no way to stop it! Don't believe me? There are 10 documentaries coming out about it next year, all hosted by people who created the internet who know a lot about Asteroids and the danger they present. All 10 documentaries reach the same conclusion: we need to start taxing people everytime they engage in activites that take their eyes away from the sky. Why? Because we need as many people as possible keeping watch for that killer Asteroid, that's why you idiot!!! Are you that stupid that you can't figure out how to drink the Kool-Aid? You can't keep your head in the sand forever!!! Everytime a star twinkles it could be because an Asteroid passed in front of the star just at that moment and you have to warn everyone about it!!! Or it could be because of astronomical scintillation (google it if you must), but it MIGHT not be!!! Furthermore, the money we raise from those taxes can then be spent on a giant super laser capable of destroying any incoming Asteroid . . . and while we wait for that Asteroid we can aim the super laser at the Moon, just to make sure it isn't seduced by those shifty Asteroids into joining their team.
At least those of us in the fight against Asteroids can still turn on a light bulb without thinking that was the one watt of energy, from the one coal burning power plant, that released the one carbon emission that sent us all to our doom. Cuz you know CNN would track that shit down like it was a hanging chad and you would have one really bad day for being "that guy". On the other hand, perhaps I do like the self-righteousness that comes with thinking that turning off my lights saved everyone on the planet . . .
Go for it Global Warming zealots. Turn off your light bulbs. What? You already have? Well maybe that explains a lot more than I thought.
Labels: Politics and such
posted by J.r.n at 11:35 PM
1 Comments:
Impending doom. Let's give up on all of our responsibilities and sensibilities. Bang the drums of war, they'll all come running with their money, their rights, and finally their souls.
Calm down my friend. Denouncing zealotry, is not a sign of moderation. Your self-righteousness bleeds through with your categorical disdain for another extreme position.
xoxo
JJ
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