Runway Prediction

Ok, I hate to have to do this, but I'm bored and need to entertain myself.

Ask anyone, but my own wardrobe is a bit predictable and blue. When I find something that makes me look good, I give it lots of near-identical twins to hang next to in my closet. When I do happen upon a totally new aesthetic, it doesn't take me long to wear it into the ground. My uniform, as my standbys are sometimes called by my friends, can get stale to those who see me often. To those who don't see me often, it's called put together well.

Even tho I get stuck in ruts when dressing myself, I think I have some clue when it comes to pretty vs. unpretty in fashion. I am especially good at identifying unpretty on other people. My ego related to this skill was somewhat inflated over the past two years by my accurate predictions of who would win the first two seasons of Project Runway.

Before I get ahead of myself I must explain the context of these 100% accurate predictions. First, neither prediction came before I viewed the final runway show. Second, both predictions were announced verbally, by me, to others in the room. Third, I was not drunk at the time.

I am not drunk now, but I hesitate to put a prediction out there for this third season of Project Runway before actually seeing the final runway show. Thanks to YouTube, some individuals posted montages of photos taken of each contestants' collections. Crude, yes, but enlightening nonetheless. Just as a cockwhore cannot predict the ultimate size of a man's erect penis from a single, lifeless, flaccid photo, seeing each dress of each collection in motion is vital for savants like myself to accurately predict their pretty payoff. So the thoughts that follow do not count as my official prediction. Not that I really care if you think it is . . . even if I get this year wrong I'll still be batting .666 . . . better than you most likely. Batting the average of the anti-christ is kind of cool too . . . not something I'd share to pick up at the bar, but I am not averse to it as I hold no allegiance to the anti-christ's evil nemesis.

From these montages, I make the following observations:
Laura designed a lot of boring stuff, kind of like during the season. It almost seemed like she designed 3 pieces, ran them thru her Xerox machine, and then let her kids fuck with them just enough to call them "different". Michael designed a lot of hoochie stuff, kind of like during the season. None of it looked well put together . . . maybe messy is the right word, and not in a good Jeffrey-messy. Uli designed a lot of interesting pieces that made me think "cool" and "I expected that, but not quite in that way". Jeffrey designed a lot of interesting pieces that made me think "you cheated so you are off the show."

Without Jeffrey, I am left with Uli. Sweet, uncompromising, party-girl Uli. It appears to me that she maintained her point of view, but elevated her work with interesting designs and contruction. It appears she accomplished what the judges want - a consistent, visually pleasing, innovative collection. Thus, Uli is my 100% hedged, official unofficial, prediction for winner of Project Runway season 3.