My Super Power
There is a new show debuting on NBC this month called "Heroes". It looks promising because it does for X-Men-The Movie what M*A*S*H the tv show did for the movie M*A*S*H. "Heroes", however, has a refreshing twist: no costumes. The everyday individuals with superpowers haven't bought stock in the world's spandex manufacturers. At least in the previews they haven't. I hope it continues that way because I prefer believable storylines. Spandex clad superheroes are way less believable than Banana Republic clad ones.
By a stroke of luck, today I discovered my own superpower. While surfing YouTube, I stumbled across a news/propoganda clip produced by that crazy cult leader Fred Phelps. I listened to his diatribe against America and its people until I noticed one of the signs he holds up at his protests. It simply said "Fags Doom Nations". Funny stuff huh? Or is it . . . I know my sexuality is viewed by some as being a threat. But I had no idea I had the power to disrupt the very foundations of national sovereignty.
If, as Fred Phelps says, I have the power to doom nations, I feel that I must use my power for good. Even though it is cooler to be the bad guy, and I'm sure that being a bad guy would let me wear a cooler costume, I don't think I could use my powers of doom for anything but good. I freely volunteer to enlist in the Army, or the Secret Service, or the CIA . . . whatever it takes to help America defeat its enemies. Just get my ass to North Korea, or to Iran, or to Syria. Let me doom them. Let my dooming power bring them to their knees. Better yet, form a legion of doom-capable men like me. Let's make sure we get the job done right the first time. Charter a 747 and ship 500 of us super humans to North Korea. After a few cocktails on the flight over, surely our combined powers of doom will bring about said doom more quickly. We promise to stay focused on the task and not to doom all over each other.
Unfortunately, those that publicly embrace their doom aren't allowed to fight for this nation with guns, much less something as powerful as doom. Nonetheless, I encourage all my friends to embrace their inner-doom. I also want to remind Freddy Phelps that everyone is doomed; stressing about it just makes it happen faster.
By a stroke of luck, today I discovered my own superpower. While surfing YouTube, I stumbled across a news/propoganda clip produced by that crazy cult leader Fred Phelps. I listened to his diatribe against America and its people until I noticed one of the signs he holds up at his protests. It simply said "Fags Doom Nations". Funny stuff huh? Or is it . . . I know my sexuality is viewed by some as being a threat. But I had no idea I had the power to disrupt the very foundations of national sovereignty.
If, as Fred Phelps says, I have the power to doom nations, I feel that I must use my power for good. Even though it is cooler to be the bad guy, and I'm sure that being a bad guy would let me wear a cooler costume, I don't think I could use my powers of doom for anything but good. I freely volunteer to enlist in the Army, or the Secret Service, or the CIA . . . whatever it takes to help America defeat its enemies. Just get my ass to North Korea, or to Iran, or to Syria. Let me doom them. Let my dooming power bring them to their knees. Better yet, form a legion of doom-capable men like me. Let's make sure we get the job done right the first time. Charter a 747 and ship 500 of us super humans to North Korea. After a few cocktails on the flight over, surely our combined powers of doom will bring about said doom more quickly. We promise to stay focused on the task and not to doom all over each other.
Unfortunately, those that publicly embrace their doom aren't allowed to fight for this nation with guns, much less something as powerful as doom. Nonetheless, I encourage all my friends to embrace their inner-doom. I also want to remind Freddy Phelps that everyone is doomed; stressing about it just makes it happen faster.
Labels: Politics and such
posted by J.r.n at 9:27 AM
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