Justifizzle
"I didn't want to be the guy who dates girls in the tabloids." That is a quote from Justin Timberlake in the August issue of GQ. *Yawn* JT is rather unexciting, but his music is fun. Finally, maybe, we have an artist that doesn't have to ask reporters to stick to questions about his artistic work, because if you aren't talking about his music, JT is a bore.
I'm kind of pissed at myself for referring to him as JT like I'm some Justified tour junkie. It's just easier to type two letters. Other artists have shortened it up to their credit. Madonna = Madge. Sonny & Cher = Cher. Annoying bitch from the north = Celine. I think most artists get it right. Debut with your full name, and then let some hybrid name develop organically in your fan-base and the press.
It's akin to the naming of a serial killer. A killer doesn't announce their super-scary moniker to the world. Initial reports of his first hits will always refer to him as an "unidentified black man". Ultimately, after 10 more hits and being named the Suburban Stalker, it's revealed that an unassuming white male was the culprit. Whoa, can you say way too similar to The King of Pop's career?
Too many new artists are making the jump to nicknames. Take Ne-Yo for instance. Sounds like a muppet to me. Is his name really a question? Ne-Yo? No, I don't got any. Whatever brainstorm led to that name was more drizzle than storm. And by drizzle I mean light rain, not dry or drive or some other verb with it's vowels and root replaced by izzle.
JT is a fan of the izzle language. He sprinkles it in his lyrics like I sprinkle whey protein in my oatmeal - both hoping we'll be cooler for it, but really just proving we're sellouts. Plus, in my case, it tastes like shizzle.
Well isn't this a coincidence . . . JT's song Never Again just came on my Yahoo radio. I've never heard this song because I didn't buy his last album. Wow, this song is kind of lame. Ok, I'm going to up that to super lame. Skip please. That song was shizzle JT, absolizzle shizzle. I guess not every song can Rock Your Body.
Ahh, next song is a winner: Freedom, by George Michael. If you watch JT's video for Sexy/Back, much of his solo shots in the video are George Michael-esque. I think it's worth noting that the same moves that worked a decade ago are still working today. Plus, as a male pop star, there is only so much you can do when you're dancing solo. I'm not saying JT is gay or is hooking up in the bushes along Hollywood Boulevard, but when he was asked whether he lives with Cameron, his GQ interview ended with the following answer: " 'Uh, nooo . . . I have my own house. It's very important. Healthy.' He laughs nervously. 'Don't you ever need your own space?' "
I get you, JT. I'll be by your place shortly so I can sizzle your dizzle.
I'm kind of pissed at myself for referring to him as JT like I'm some Justified tour junkie. It's just easier to type two letters. Other artists have shortened it up to their credit. Madonna = Madge. Sonny & Cher = Cher. Annoying bitch from the north = Celine. I think most artists get it right. Debut with your full name, and then let some hybrid name develop organically in your fan-base and the press.
It's akin to the naming of a serial killer. A killer doesn't announce their super-scary moniker to the world. Initial reports of his first hits will always refer to him as an "unidentified black man". Ultimately, after 10 more hits and being named the Suburban Stalker, it's revealed that an unassuming white male was the culprit. Whoa, can you say way too similar to The King of Pop's career?
Too many new artists are making the jump to nicknames. Take Ne-Yo for instance. Sounds like a muppet to me. Is his name really a question? Ne-Yo? No, I don't got any. Whatever brainstorm led to that name was more drizzle than storm. And by drizzle I mean light rain, not dry or drive or some other verb with it's vowels and root replaced by izzle.
JT is a fan of the izzle language. He sprinkles it in his lyrics like I sprinkle whey protein in my oatmeal - both hoping we'll be cooler for it, but really just proving we're sellouts. Plus, in my case, it tastes like shizzle.
Well isn't this a coincidence . . . JT's song Never Again just came on my Yahoo radio. I've never heard this song because I didn't buy his last album. Wow, this song is kind of lame. Ok, I'm going to up that to super lame. Skip please. That song was shizzle JT, absolizzle shizzle. I guess not every song can Rock Your Body.
Ahh, next song is a winner: Freedom, by George Michael. If you watch JT's video for Sexy/Back, much of his solo shots in the video are George Michael-esque. I think it's worth noting that the same moves that worked a decade ago are still working today. Plus, as a male pop star, there is only so much you can do when you're dancing solo. I'm not saying JT is gay or is hooking up in the bushes along Hollywood Boulevard, but when he was asked whether he lives with Cameron, his GQ interview ended with the following answer: " 'Uh, nooo . . . I have my own house. It's very important. Healthy.' He laughs nervously. 'Don't you ever need your own space?' "
I get you, JT. I'll be by your place shortly so I can sizzle your dizzle.
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posted by J.r.n at 7:47 PM
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